


Ends of the Earth

by azureheavens



Series: Being my friend is very sexy of you [10]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Chaptered, Drama, F/M, Feelings Realization, Heart-to-Heart, Introspection, It’s finale time, Points of View, Romance, Secrets, Slow Burn, bed sharing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29946639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azureheavens/pseuds/azureheavens
Summary: “A secret…?”“You can’t tell a soul, Hilda,” Claude said, green eyes suddenly locking onto hers. Though she had been with him through many serious moments, this was the most serious she had ever seen him. “This is something that stays between you and me, at least until I’m ready to tell the others.”Is this it? Is he telling me who he is?Hilda bit her lip. “Okay… What secret?”
Relationships: Hilda Valentine Goneril/Claude von Riegan
Series: Being my friend is very sexy of you [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1509341
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	Ends of the Earth

**Author's Note:**

> Part 10 of 10!! This chapter put me through the emotional ringer, but It’s here. 
> 
> Title of the fic is from [Ends of the Earth by Lord Huron.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXGhV3ZsLms) Chapter titles are from Claude. Enjoy!

It had been two moons since the fall of the Adrestian empire, and Hilda wanted nothing more than to be back at home in Goneril. She should be celebrating hard-won peace with all her friends, relaxing under clear, blue skies, sampling teas and treats made sweeter with their victory.

None of this went as anyone expected. Not her, not the professor, not even Claude. It was past midnight in Garreg Mach during the Verdant Rain Moon, and Hilda was too restless to sleep. More than restless, she was _mad._

Mad they were still marching, still fighting on missions.

Mad that her brother had nearly died.

Mad that some terrible zombie warlord was coming for their heads, rising from the shadowy depths beneath Goneril territory.

Common sense told her to take a walk, even at this hour. But if she blinked, javelins of light flashed in the corner of her eye. Witnessing the destruction of Shamballa so soon after Merceus felt like a terrible dream. Sleep was the last thing on her mind.

Night poured in through the window. A single candle lit up Hilda’s room as she slumped in her nightgown at her desk, tapping her finger against blank stationery. Starting a letter to her injured brother with “What is wrong with you?!” didn’t seem too kind, but she was worried sick. She would march back to Goneril right now and give Holst a piece of her mind if it didn’t mean crossing paths with Nemesis…

_Claude thinks we’ll be alright,_ she reminded herself.

Though, after talking to Lady Rhea with Byleth, he seemed sort of out of it. Hilda was too preoccupied with news of her brother to get more details from him, but he was convinced that this would be the _real_ last battle.

_I want to believe it. But…_

Hilda groaned, rubbing her eyes. If she was going to worry, she might as well lay down. She licked her fingers and reached to snuff out her candle—

When a soft knock sounded at the door.

Hilda froze, wondering if she dreamed it. Then the knock sounded again in a staccato beat. She called out, “Who is it?”

“Who else but your favorite Claude?”

…Had she been up _all night,_ or was he up late too? The moon glowed amongst glittering stars through the window, so it wasn’t close to morning. She went to the door, peering through the crack. Claude smiled when he saw her. He was still dressed for the day, though he had taken off his coat. The darkness of the hall against the candlelight set his face in a handsome contrast.

“Do I have a _least_ favorite Claude?” Hilda teased, opening the door.

Claude frowned. “If you do, I hope it’s not me. But I’m glad you’re awake, although I can guess it’s not for a good reason.”

Hilda pouted and shut her eyes, leaning against the doorframe. “A terrible reason. I was trying and failing to write to my brother, so I was about to give up and sleep…” She looked him up and down, remembering their forgotten arrangement. They hadn’t slept together since Myrddin; these days just acting friendly and nothing more. Hilda wouldn’t say she missed him. Hard to miss someone you saw constantly. Still, she fiddled with her collar. “But you’re not here to…?”

“Hm? Oh, no.” Claude’s gaze flicked over her body for a split second, but he then waved the thought away. “Nothing like that tonight.”

“…Just as well,” She winked to lighten the mood. “I was kidding, anyway. What’s wrong?”

“I wanted to talk about something. You see…” He trailed off, looking at the ground. “I have a favor to ask."

Hilda blinked. “Hold on. A favor?” Then blinked again. “ _The_ favor? Now?”

“Yes, now.” Claude shrugged. “I know it’s a weird hour, but I’ve finally pinned down how to use it. No time like the present, they say, and I’ve been sitting on it long enough. May I come in?”

More curious than anything, Hilda led him in. She went to sit on the bed, leaving room for him too, but instead he chose the chair at her desk, turning it so he could face her. Tonight, Claude was all business. Maybe this favor was more formal?

_Or he wants to keep that distance_.

Regardless, Hilda sat up straight and delicately placed her hands on her lap. “Well then,” she chirped, “how may I assist you, Archduke Riegan?”

“…Knock it off.” He chuckled, swatting the air. “Before we get to that, tell me how you’re feeling. I know it’s late, but you’re usually peppier—and sleepier—than this.”

“Peppy _and_ sleepy, huh? Well,” she muttered, fiddling again with her nightgown. All the words she couldn’t fit on a letter rolled around in her head, still stuck. “Honestly, it’s _a lot_ …” 

After some silence, Claude leaned forward, propping his hands across his knees. “Take your time. I’ll wait.”

“Nothing I say will be _that_ interesting.”

“You’d be surprised at what interests me. Besides, you once told me that I didn’t need to fake a smile around you. Think of it as a similar offer.”

Hilda started to smile. “I guess I did say something like that. Sweet of you to remember.”

Claude smiled back. “Just helping you as you helped me.”

“Okay, then here’s a long, _long_ list of how I’m feeling: scared, nervous, sleepy, annoyed, happy you’re here, and mad you’re interrupting my beauty sleep.” She eyed him coyly. How could she really be mad, when just being with him lifted her mood? “And what about you? Must be some big feelings to make you wander over here.”

Leaning back, Claude ran his fingers over his beard. “In short, your list sums me up, too. But I won’t waste time. The reason I’m here is…” For a long moment, he watched the ground. Then he stood and gestured to the space Hilda had left for him. “Actually, may I?”

“Um, sure? But—”

He sat before she could finish, leaving a hair’s width between them. Hilda flinched and stared at him. Wasn’t he keeping his distance? He didn’t look at her the entire time, like hadn’t committed to what his favor should be. “This is fine, right?” he asked the ground.

“It _will be_ once I know what’s going on,” she urged.

“Right, sorry. Okay, here’s the favor.” He clapped and rubbed his hands together. “I want you to help me keep a secret.”

“A secret…?”

“You can’t tell a soul, Hilda,” Claude said, green eyes suddenly locking onto hers. Though she had been with him through many serious moments, this was the most serious she had ever seen him. “This is something that stays between you and me, at least until I’m ready to tell the others.”

_Is this it? Is he telling me who he is?_

Hilda bit her lip. “Okay… What secret?”

Claude waited, eyes flickering over her face.

_If he says it, I’ll be honest. I’ll tell him that I know, and it’s no problem_ _for me. I don’t want him to think—_

“After we deal with Nemesis, I’m stepping down from my title and leaving Fodlan.”

Jolts of cold ran through Hilda’s skin. “Wait, you’re—”

He nodded.

A lump formed in the pit of her stomach, plummeting faster than a boulder in the ocean. She squeezed her eyes shut and rolled his words in her head again and again. “Hold on. Leaving? Why are you _leaving?_ ”

Claude allowed himself a smile, wry but kind. “It _does_ sound confusing, doesn’t it? All this sweat and effort to unite Fodlan, only to leave once my work is done? …And if I may say it, you look like you expected something else.”

Hilda sputtered. “Well, I didn’t expect _that!”_ Then she was on her feet. Her eyes searched her room as if there was some missed clue he had hidden for her. Instead she found his eyes. His calm eyes, his apologetic expression. This was a done deal, sealed long before he knocked on her door.

Maybe even before they took down Edelgard.

Hilda crossed the room and slumped into her chair. “It just doesn’t… Wait, who will lead when you’re gone?” She stared at him. “Lorenz?”

“…I did consider that option,” he said calmly, looking relieved. But why? “The scion of House Gloucester hasn’t hidden his ambitions, and we wouldn’t be worse off for it. But actually, I think Teach is best for the job.”

“Professor Byleth, huh…?” Hilda considered it. Strong presence, encouraging words, calm mind. She’s already done so much in this campaign that it seemed unfair to force more onto her. But somehow, it felt natural. “I don’t disagree, but you’re putting a lot of expectations on her head. Does she even want to?”

“Actually, she brought it up first. Right before we fought Edelgard, she told me that _she’d_ make a good ruler. Threw me for a loop! Good to know that my first choice is willing to do it.” Then he paused. He leaned back on his hands, nodding at the ceiling. “But no. I haven’t told her. Not about her ruling Fodlan, or that I’m leaving at all.”

Hilda nervously picked at her nightgown. She needed to ration her questions. In case too many chased him out the door. “…Then why tell me?”

Quietly, Claude shut his eyes.

“I don’t have anything to do with what happens to Fodlan, or—” She swallowed. “—where you go after. Did you just need to get it off your chest?”

Claude’s shoulders shook in a laugh, but it was fake. “I suppose I did. You’ve always been easy to talk to, and I have so many plans and backup plans that it’s hard to keep them straight.”

Hilda hummed in sympathy, not quite buying it. If she _were_ easy to talk to, he’d look her in the eyes. At least he had the decency to warm her up for the news: asking how she was, sharing little jokes, asking for permission to sit by her. But as the quiet lingered, bitter feelings stirred. It wasn’t _fair_ to spring big news on her like this! Did he ever mean to tell anyone? Should she be flattered he told her? Or worried he almost didn’t, considering he decided at the last minute?

What would she really _gain_ from this favor?

Hilda’s gaze snapped to his, frowning. “You still didn’t answer why.”

This time, Claude met her eyes and held them. “Why I’m leaving?” he asked.

“Why you won’t stay.”

He let out a low whistle. “That’s a cutting question. You think I’m running from something?”

“…I don’t know what I think.” Hilda sighed, shaking her head. Of course he wouldn’t give a straight answer. “I thought I knew what to expect after the war ended. Now I find out you’ll be gone. And I don’t even know to where.”

She does know, but she doesn’t say it.

Claude leaned in closer. “I’m not running from anything, Hilda. If anything, I’m getting closer to my dream.”

Candlelight flickered across his face, his shadow flaring like wings behind him. While his shadow looked big, he looked so small. It was easy to forget that behind his grand words was one man carrying too much on his shoulders. For this one moment, the light on his face painted him as honest and ephemeral, ready to disappear in an instant.

She let him speak.

“You sometimes like to call me invincible, but of all people, you should know I’m anything but.” He tapped his chest and winked, noting the scar. “I’m as normal as anyone else, but I haven’t had many chances to _be_ that.”

Hilda shrugged. “Well, being from House Riegan, it makes a lot of sense.”

“True, but I only learned about _that_ fun fact when I was fifteen, almost a decade ago. Even then I wasn’t put on a pedestal. Growing up, people expected the worst of me for no reason at all. They thought I was sneaky and strange at best, a coward at worst. So I played into it while planning ways to prove them wrong.” Claude leaned back with a quiet huff. “No matter what I said or did, they were convinced they knew the person I was. A lose-lose situation. I couldn’t stand it.”

Hilda frowned. Besides stories about his parents, this was the most Claude had ever told her about his life. Even now he painted only half of the picture, but the shadows around his words clashed with how bright she knew him to be.

Actually, did she know him at all?

“Then, coming to Garreg Mach,” he continued, “I still couldn’t escape people’s suspicions. I played the part of an outsider because that’s what I was, but not _all_ I was. But in some way, there was more freedom here than where I grew up. Freedom to dream of a world where everyone, including me, could live without restraint. And later, the freedom to see that dream come true. But to do that, my plan to leave needs to stay secret. How would morale look if the others knew? But I had a feeling _you’d_ be able to keep it. We’ve certainly kept our fair share of secrets over the years.”

Hilda blushed a little. Those “secrets” were moments of fooling around; nothing like what he asked of her now. All this seriousness started to weigh on her. “…Isn’t keeping secrets a bad habit?” she teased, leaning forward. “I don’t think you should be instilling that in me.”

“Oh? I’m just banking on your natural talents.” Claude winked, eyes sparkled with mirth. “And you know this isn’t the end. Don’t you, Hilda?”

“I know,” she said, a half-lie.

“Leaving Fodlan doesn’t mean I’m abandoning everyone. Would I go if I didn’t have full faith in who I’m leaving behind? I’ve set the course, and Teach is sure to keep it. But my work is just beginning. I wanted to make a difference with my crest, and once we’ve put this Nemesis nonsense to bed, I can say that I’ve done it. And Fodlan is big, but other places are bigger. I’ll travel as far as I need to reach my goals.” He smirked at this. “Maybe I’ll find a place large enough to fit my ego.”

Hilda tilted her head, biting her lip. “And if you don’t, you can always come back to us in Fodlan.”

“…You’re not wrong. And it’s good, knowing there could still be a space for me.” After shaking his head, Claude’s eyes met hers again. “I know this is a small favor. I did want a good use for it. But after everything, Hilda? I don’t need to hold this over your head. You’ll do what you want, whenever you please, no matter what anyone says.”

“Oh?” Hilda asked, slightly offended. “Is that what you think…?”

“I do.” Claude nodded. “So if I ever need another favor, and you agree, I’d like to think I’ve earned it.”

There it was again. That look. Nothing coy or ambiguous; just piercing honesty. An unspoken promise that she could either live up to or dash to pieces. It scared her then. It scared her now.

“So…” he said. “Will you keep this secret for me?”

…Was it about “will” if she had to do it? She could say no; it would waste his favor, or he could double back and spend it on something else. She got him to change his mind about spending it before. Almost twice now.

An ugly feeling knotted in her stomach. Like if she said yes, he would disappear. Fly off into the dawn when she could only wave goodbye. Holding him here would be selfish. No matter how much she wanted time to stop, no amount of persuasion could do that.

It was then she knew. It had nothing to do with what she’d gain from the favor. She could only think of what she’d lose.

Him.

Looking him in the eyes, Hilda sat up straight. “I will, Claude. For you, definitely.”

“Thank you,” he said. His eyes crinkled just so. “I knew I could trust you.”

Hilda’s heart plummeted. She smiled back, unsure what to say.

“…And with that, my business is done.” Claude got to his feet. If there was a weight off his shoulders, Hilda couldn’t tell. “I’ve taken enough of your time, so I’ll head out. Sleep well, Hilda.” All too quickly, he started toward the door.

“Wait.”

Claude turned. Hilda found herself on her feet, one hand reaching out. She quickly tucked her arms behind her back, trying to decide what she wanted. “Since you’re already here… Why not stay the night?”

He eyed her. “Stay longer? Didn’t you complain I was keeping you up?”

“That was _before_ I knew why you came. And I’m not asking for anything else, if that bothers you. Just think of it as… twisting our agreement a bit? We’re supposed to help each other relax, but after all that heavy stuff, I’ll be thinking about it all night! And if you already can’t sleep, there’s no harm in it. Won’t you keep me company?”

Claude watched her for a long, harrowing moment. Would he say no? He had every reason to.

Then he smiled, shaking his head. “Well, sleeping in our own rooms isn’t getting us any shut-eye. Why not? I say it stands.”

“Really? Yay!” Hilda smiled back. “I mean, thank you.”

Claude laughed. “It’s the least I could do. I’ll get changed, okay?”

Hilda nodded and let him go, the door clicking shut behind him. Knowing he’d return soothed her, but she cursed herself for getting worked up at all. She snuffed out the candle on the desk and waded through the dark to her bed. Laying by the wall to make room for him, she nestled back under the covers.

The heavy silence of night laid with her now. A faint scent of melting wax filled the air, with just a few slivers of light from the moon coloring the wall. Hilda blew out a long breath. _I guess that’s it,_ she thought. _Years of waiting for this mysterious favor, completely over._

So what happens next? Claude would soon go back to his old life, whatever that was. And Hilda would go back to hers. Lounging around, sleeping in, following her whims to fill the day. Same way she spent the first five years of the war. Falling into old habits would be easy.

Then why did it feel wrong? To do nothing, while Claude…

Hilda groaned and curled up on her side, facing the shadow-stained wall. _You’re going crazy like this. Let it go! Be glad he trusts you enough to tell you, because not even the professor knows. And he was always planning to leave, so nothing you can say will keep him in Fodlan._

Although…

If she couldn’t stop him from leaving, what if… she left with him?

Traveling the world, the sweet winds billowing through her hair, his cape. It’s not like she had other plans. And he _did_ promise she could meet his parents. She could go to Almyra for a bit. See if she wanted to stick around.

But what about after?

The stuffy, diligent side of her mind scolded her for carelessness. As wonderful Claude’s ambitions were, a Goneril running around Almyra was like borrowing money from the people you stole from for years and years. All of it to avoid being without him. It was selfish of her. Unfair to him. Even if she were to just hide in his shadow, would she be holding him back?

Or would not trying let him down?

If only they had forever. If only she could swallow her pride and be honest. Tell him what really bothered her, how she felt about him. Lines they never crossed now tangled her up. Stuck in place, while he moved on.

_I don’t want to stop him from going,_ she told the endless black looming over her head. _I just don’t know if I can follow._

She closed her stinging eyes. It was all bigger than she could handle. What could she do?

The door quietly clicked open again. Hilda froze. Footsteps crossed the room to her.

“Hey, just me,” Claude said, setting something down by the bed. There was a flash of cold then a wave of warmth as he got under the covers. “Time for some well-deserved shut eye,” he said blithely, settling in. “Everything good?”

“…No,” Hilda said. “It’s not good.”

A flash of stunned silence. “Oh, uh…” Claude paused. “What’s bothering you?”

Subtly wiping her eyes, she refused to turn around. “I’m going to miss you.”

“Ah, right… Sorry about that.”

Hilda frowned and sank deeper into the pillow.

“It has to happen eventually, but I’m not gone yet.” He shifted a little behind her. Then, after a breath, his tone changed from quiet to playful. “If it helps… I could share some gossip to take your mind off things?”

Her ears burning, Hilda pulled the blankets over her shoulders. “…I’m listening.”

There was a quiet laugh. Clearing his throat like a seasoned storyteller, Claude began his tale. “About two weeks ago, I was up late. Huge surprise. So I decided the cathedral would be big and empty enough to hold the thoughts racing through my mind. I walked up the bridge, and I saw _Lorenz_ there on the side. Now, I don’t spy-”

“Yes, you do.”

“Well, this time wasn’t _on purpose._ Anyway, Lorenz is there, and he’s talking to someone. I move closer, but I don’t believe it. Was it a trick of the light?” He leaned in close to whisper, “Have I finally gone insane? Surely Lorenz has managed to catch one of the fair ladies he chases after, but I never thought I’d see him with _her.”_

Hilda looked over her shoulder. “Who?”

Claude wiggled his brows and enunciated every syllable. _“Manuela Casagrande.”_

Hilda froze, slack jawed. She waited for him to laugh off the joke “What…? No way!” She spun to face him and smack his arm. “You’re lying, Claude!”

“Lying? Seriously? I couldn’t make this up!” His face lit up, almost glowing in the dark. “He seemed pretty mad at her at first, but he cooled off quickly. Then the atmosphere got a bit more… romantic. So I left them to it.”

“Don’t leave out details,” Hilda scolded. “What else?”

“Listen,” he said, raising a hand. “What happened that night is between them and… the Goddess. Or whoever. Either way I wasn’t part of it.”

Hilda breathed, staring into space. “Unbelievable… But you know what? Good for them.”

Claude snapped his fingers. “Exactly. Couples popping up just means everyone can tell this war is nearing an end. Hard to turn away good news with that in mind, especially after this grueling campaign.”

Hilda hummed in agreement. She sank back into her pillow as she ignored the knot of self-pity in her stomach. “Speaking of couples, Ferdinand and Marianne? _Adorable.”_

“Aha! I thought I saw something there. Few people can make her smile so much. The only time I’ve done it is when Marianne was laughing at me.”

“Same here.” Hilda giggled, shaking her head. “Oh, and there’s Lysithea and Cyril.”

_“Painfully_ obvious.”

“Byleth and Mercedes?”

“Cutest in the monastery,” he declared, flopping onto his back. A slice of moonlight lit up his face, dusting over his thick mussed hair. “Couldn’t have picked a better pair myself.”

Hilda narrowed her eyes. “You didn’t, did you?”

Suddenly, Claude laughed. _Really_ laughed. The kind that shook out of him while he grinned and pushed back his hair, eyes sparkling. “You think too highly of me,” he said warmly.

“Do I?” She propped her face on her hand. She fought the urge to reach out and fix his hair, too, like she had done so many times. “You told me your grand plan was to let the professor take over when you leave. Maybe you also had Mercie in mind…?”

“Hilda, _please._ I scheme, but I’m no matchmaker. Any decent plan makes room for strokes of good luck. You can prepare, guess, and strategize all you want, but sometimes,” he said, glancing to her, “what needs to happen falls in right your lap.”

Claude paused for a long time. Then Hilda flinched when something brushed against her cheek. Calloused fingers tucked her hair behind her ear, following the strands to trail down its length. Goosebumps raced over her skin; her chest ached.

“And you realize,” he said softly, “you need nothing else.”

Hilda couldn’t think to breathe. Before he could lower his hand, before she could make an excuse, she reached out to him. Holding his collar, she pressed her lips to his. Every nerve hummed. She pressed her body against his, her hair falling like a curtain over them both. She kept her eyes shut when she broke the kiss, but pressed their foreheads together. If she had to share him with the world, then all she wanted was one more kiss.

“…Still trying to leave me speechless?” he said.

Her eyes fluttered open. Claude looked up at her with amusement, his brow a fond but crooked question.

Hilda smiled, placing a finger over his mouth. “Still trying to get the last word?”

Silent, he watched her with naked honesty, an unusual expression of peace. No doubts, no confusion. That look once scared her. But now…

_Don’t stop looking at me._

She kissed him again. He leaned into it, catching her lips and holding her tight. Hilda bit back a sigh as she cupped his face. Already, this was different. There was always something hidden in his kiss, something held back. Not this time. So she relaxed as he wrapped her in his arms, losing herself in his musk and the taste of salt.

Her heart thrummed steady and true next to his. His breath and tongue mingled with hers. Nothing was rushed. Even when his hand lifted her thigh, or later when she pulled her nightgown over her head. They stretched out this one moment for as long as they could, before their world would change completely.

And the world needed to change.

Hilda had spent every day of her life trying to find a way to be free, believing that no responsibility meant no chance of failure. But in reality, she was choosing failure first, trapping herself in a tiny, limited world.

True freedom was _here,_ in his arms. Only with him did the unknown feel like adventure, drowning out darkness with cascading sunlight. Accepting the world’s rules was never her style; neither was it Claude’s. So why lock herself into a lonely future? Why ignore her loudly beating heart when it pulled her toward the dawn?

Dying for someone, she would never do.

Living for someone felt just as strange.

But throwing away petty worries to chase her happiness? That sounded like her.

Suddenly it thrilled her to dream of matching his stride. His dreams took him far, but maybe someone like her could get him there. As she knotted her hands in his hair, melting into his embrace, she used every kiss to tell him what she couldn’t say out loud:

_Claude, thank you. For choosing me for one more night. For making every day of this terrible war better than it should have been. I want to stay with you, but_ _I need more time to get myself right. A wonderful man like you deserves every good thing I can’t yet give, so I’ll_ _give my all to support your dream. I’m not where I should be, but I know where I want to be._

_So don’t stop looking at me. Don’t stop trusting me. And please, don’t stop believing in me._

_I won’t let you down._

**Author's Note:**

> If you like Bang Dream, RAS’s Beautiful Birthday got me through this fic. 🤧
> 
> Also here’s [ my hilclaude playlist on Spotify](%E2%80%9D) while I do Ch 2


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